Monday, August 30, 2010

The more you know, the more you don't know



When I was 18 years old I moved out of my parents house and into the Toolbox.  I remember it clearly; I was sitting in the den at my parent’s house with my Mom and Dad.  I didn’t plan how I was going to break the news so I said something along the lines of “Mom, Dad…I’ve decided that I’m dropping out of college and moving into the Toolbox with my friends.”  They were shocked to say the least but my Dad knew that this was going to be a crucial period of time for me to grow and become a man…or at least less of a boy.

The decision to move out was made in response to a lesson I believe we have been taught our entire lives. We’ve been taught that growing up is a perpetual lesson in growing in independence.  We are supposed to work hard in high school to go to a great school and from there you get a good job so that you can find a wife and have children and so on and so forth.  In each step of our lives we are told to constantly be growing more independent, whether that is from our teachers to parents to roommates we are constantly growing into not needing anyone or anything.

As I’ve come to know Christ more deeply and examined scripture I have discovered something that I believe is entirely contrary to the thought of growing in independence. The notion of constantly increasing independence, I believe, is a far cry from our calling as Disciples of Christ.  When I moved into the Toolbox in 2005 I thought that I was doing what was expected from me; I was growing in my independence from my parents and creating my own life.  The truth that I began to experience in the months and years that followed moving into the Toolbox was that as I grew in my relationship with Christ the more I realized that I NEEDED Him in every situation.  At this point I was working at The Guitar and Amp Center in Harrisonburg while leading Young Life and attending Blue Ridge Community College.  Making 7 dollars an hour and trying to pay for rent, utilities, cell phone, car insurance and gas to drive all over God’s creation whether for school, work or Young Life in Shenandoah county, I quickly realized that I was in complete need of God and his provision in my life.

As I’ve grown, I’ve seen something strange at work in my life.  The more I learn about myself, the more brokenness I discover and my NEED for a savior is realized in a deeper and deeper way.  Also, the more I experience and learn about Christ the more I see in Him everything that I need.  A friend of mine named Tim Toy said something that has changed my life “We have to trade all we know about ourselves for all we know about Him.”

Ecclesiastes 12 echoes this lesson; Solomon says for us to remember our Creator in the days of our youth.  Don’t forget him in your decisions about life now; not when you’re choosing colleges, not when you’re choosing careers, not when choosing places to live or people to date.  As we grow we must be growing in our dependence on Christ.  He has to become the focus of our hearts and our decisions, His ways have to become our ways, and His heart has to become our heart.

May we grow in our dependence in Christ; may our eyes be focused on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith (Hebrews 12:2).

Let’s learn the dance that is walking deeply with our God and let Him lead us every step of the way.

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